Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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