Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
