I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
