Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
