So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
