why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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