is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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