Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
