Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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