ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
