I should be sponsored by Trojan
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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