What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Panties = found
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