I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
