If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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