google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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