Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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