I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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