he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize