yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize