I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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