Your face is a jimmy john
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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