Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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