Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
