Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
