I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
