Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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