its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
