I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
