i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
