Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
