Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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