At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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