i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My vagina is officially offended.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
