hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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