I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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