The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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