I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You pole danced in your parka.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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