Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
