I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
