addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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