Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
