Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
