He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
