you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
