it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize