he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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