told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
