dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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