Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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