do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How naked do you want me to be?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
