I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize