Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
