just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Let's get the cat blown out
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
