Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize