I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Everclear isn't food dammit
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
