Nicole vs. Life
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I party with great urgency now.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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