Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
