I am in a vortex of obligation.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
