She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
