so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
