Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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