I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
