hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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