would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
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